meanderings of a restless wanderer

Well, yet another has joined the cult of blogging.  Your friend and mine Jenny Howell.  Jenny recently moved away from So. Cal back up to Nor. Cal so be good lurkers and go visit her blog and say hello.

Busy week so not much time to write anything interesting…however, on my to work I was listening to **cough** Ryan Seacrest **cough** and they were playing Danity Kayne’s song “Damaged.  Now for you Revolution folk you know how much Liana loves this catchy little ditty, whose lyrics are dumb, yet you still want to sing along.

Anywho, in the song they spell…H-E-A-R-T and D-A-M-A-G-E-D.  Is it bad that I like it when people spell in songs?  Perhaps it’s because I have the spelling level of a fifth grader, or maybe it’s because it somehow makes me want to sing/spell along…whatever the reason - all I know is that I love spelling songs.  Take Gwen Stefani’s B-A-N-A-N-A-S or Black Eyed Peas F-R-E-S-H…whatever word is being spelled I always find myself spelling along and dancing along.

Is it just me?  Or do you do it too?

Seriously, this is rad!

Check it out, and you can take a look at some others by going to this web site.

This week I got a text message saying that one of my friends from High School had died suddenly from an apparent heart attack.  We now know it was a blood clot…a blood clot killed a 29 year old girl who was healthy and happy.

I know that death is inevitable.  I don’t fear it.  I don’t worry about it.  I don’t really even think about it…until something like this happens.  I am a firm believer in the realities of Heaven and hell and my own eternal security…but all that means nothing when you are the ones left behind.

It probably wouldn’t be as odd a feeling if she was 90 or something, but she was 29.  I mean I can remember when my grandfather died…it was sad and difficult…but he was older…it made sense. The experience changes though when its someone your own age…it makes it…well, it makes it difficult to accept and at the same time forcing you to take a look at your life.

The first time I lost a friend my own age is when my buddy Chris died of cancer in High School.  I had just become a Christian and I was so angry at God because for the life of me I could not understand why he would allow something like that to happen…in some ways I still don’t understand.  I mean don’t get me wrong, I know the theological argument of a fallen world…but that doesn’t make it any easier, if anything it makes it more difficult because sometimes that answer sounds so cold hearted and distant that you can’t even believe the thought when it enters your head.

Then there was Matt.  I was at a camp in Michigan when I got the call that Matt went into a coma.  We had just graduated Bible College…I had been his RA…He was on a few of the teams I led for church planting…and he got me into Christian death metal (an oxymorone I know).  Apparently Matt had diabeties and no one knew.  So his pancreas shut down and soon after the rest of his body followed.  Matt was getting ready to be apart of a church plant in the Pacific Northwest…but all that ended. I remember getting that call and walking into the woods and crying.  Crying for my friend, crying for his family, crying for all of those that knew and loved him.  I knew in my head that he was better off…but inside my heart ached…and again I questioned God as to why.

In some ways we are pretty selfish when it comes to death.  Because we have to pick up the pieces…we have to struggle with the questions…we have to face the emptiness that we now feel and in the process we experience all those stupid levels of grief…and we end up missing the celebration that actually is life.

Death should not be what causes us to open our eyes to life.  Look around you.  The sun in the sky, the breeze against your face.  Look at your friends, your spouse, your children.  Look at the waves crashing against the shore and the birds that fly through the air.  Look at those simple pleasures around you everyday and open your eyes to life…understanding that there is a time for everything and realizing that our time is limited.

My prayer, if I can steal a quote from 30 Rock, is to “live every day like it was shark week”.

Our time is limited so why not experience it to the fullest and trust God to leave a lasting legacy after we’ve  gone?  I’m 29 - and I have a very long list of things that I want to do before I die.  Will I get to them all…probably not…but what matters most is that I love God and love people and open my eyes to the simple pleasures, wonders and love that surrounds me everyday.

Cindy Vega will be missed terribly.  Chris O’Leary is missed terribly.  Matt Bellows is missed terribly.  And the list can go on and on…

What I know is this - In the depths of despair and confusion, God does some of His most profound and beautiful work in us.

Until next time.

This morning started off much later than all our other mornings. I ended up waking up at 8:20…about 10 minutes before devo time! Kati and Angie (and Angie’s 2 boys) brought over boxes of clothes they’d had in storage for a while that needed to be sorted in preparation for a $1 sale to raise money for their ministry. We had a great time helping them with that and then making sack lunches for them to hand out. They have a very deep sense of calling to the street ministry they do. They work with senior citizens, gutter punks, homeless, etc who live on the streets as well as any and everyone they come into contact with. They do most of their ministry in and around the French Quarter.

After our time with Kati and Angie, we set about getting ready to spend some time with Ms Doris. We wanted to help her with her house, but knew there were a lot of projects we either weren’t equipped to do ourselves or we simply wouldn’t have the time to finish. So we brought a gift basket and some dinner and simply spent time with Ms Doris and her family. It was a great time for our team to really see what it feels like to call New Orleans “home”. It was such a blessing to simply be with those women and I know that even though we may not have done any hard labor, we were doing exactly what God wanted us to do.

At around 7:30, we said goodbye to Ms Doris, Elaine and Courtney and headed across the river (you know…the Mississippi River) to the Westbank. There’s a place over there called Mardi Gras World. This is where most of the big floats and props for the Mardi Gras parades are housed. They hosted an all day event complete with face painting, mask making (which we missed out on by about 10 minutes), food, music, and free tours of the prop rooms. The festivities ended with a 6 piece jazz ensemble complete with a 2nd Line (you’ll have to look that one up if you want to know what it is) out to the levee right before the fireworks began. We sat on the levee to watch the fireworks, then decided we should try using kati’s blanket to slide down the hill on. Then we thought we should roll down the hill. Then we realized if one person sits on the blanket and 2 people pull it, you go down the hill a lot faster. It was like being a kid again. :o)

After we were sufficiently dirty and dizzy, Kati, Angie and the boys went home and the rest of us headed Uptown to meet Paul at Camellia Grill for some dessert. For those of you not familiar with the staples of the city, Camellia Grill is one of them. After the storm, the owners moved to Mississippi. People started leaving notes on the doors of the restaurant to “Please come back”, etc. Someone asked the owners if they could buy the restuarant so it could open up again, and the owners agreed. So the new owner hired back all the old workers (the same guys have been there for years and years) and reopened without changing anything at all…except they now take debit and credit cards instead of just cash.

And now, after a minor run-in with Essence Fest traffic, we are home and once again snug in our beds (except me). I want to thank everyone who’s been praying for us. God has really done amazing things for each one of us during this week and I’m very grateful for the opportunity to bring a team to serve a city I love. We’ve all learned so much and have been so inspired and encouraged by the people we have met. I hope you will ask about our trip. But don’t just ask me…ask Karina, Jeny, Heather and Jessie. They have a lot to share.

We only have one more day left, and it’s a pretty kick-back day. We will be making breakfast for a group of ladies in the morning and then doing some sightseeing and shopping in the afternoon, as well as tying up some loose ends and running a couple of errands. We will still look for opportunities on the streets and may even catch up with Kati and Angie while they’re out doing their thing in the Quarter. It will be a pretty early evening because we have to leave at 3:45 Sunday morning to get to Gulfport. I may or may not do an update tomorrow night, so until the next time…

Goodnight!

Today has been amazing. Most of the day up until around 3:30 was bittersweet. We had our last day with the kids today. On top of it being the last day, it was, yet again, our most difficult day with them. We had to cut out the entire last segment of the program because they just didn’t want to cooperate with us this morning. I don’t think it mattered much because, really, we were just glad to have the time with them. Even if they were difficult. I’d be difficult too if I had their lives. The most important part is that we did get to develop relationships with them and share God’s love. Jeny was just sharing tonight how one little boy asked her if she loved him and she was able to say, yes, of course I love you. It’s possible that that’s the only time he heard someone say that to him today. Thank God for that opportunity.

Karina was finally able to come out and gut with us a little bit today. I don’t think she expected it to be such hard work, but just like the rest of the week, she was a total trooper! We ended up calling it quits early again today…no, there weren’t any more tetanus shots. There was a pretty big storm headed our way, so we needed to get all the tools in the truck and back to the office before it started. Metal and lightning don’t mix.

Tonight, our team decided they wanted to invite Ms. Doris out to dinner with us. Ms Doris is a 78 year old woman who volunteers at BBC; we’ve been working in her territory everyday this week. So we took her and Angela out to La Madeleine (the most amazing place ever) and the girls were able to get to know her better and hear some incredible stories and life experience. Between dinner and meeting Ms Doris’ daughter and granddaughter when we took her home, we heard a lot of their Katrina story. Their house is in the section of town that was only roof tops after the storm. Although they had evacuated to McComb (Mississippi), some other family members decided to stay at Ms Doris’ home during the storm. They ended up getting flooded out and having to break through the window in the attic. The woman and 3 children were picked up by a helicopter, but the 2 year old was left because there was not enough room. The other adult rigged up a boat from an old tire to put the child in and swam to the interstate bridge that’s about a mile from their house. They all survived, but as Ms Doris had told us earlier, she “lost a lot of people to that storm”. And she still smiles and laughs and loves her life. She works at BBC because she feels like she’s been given so much that she just wants to give back and meet people who can influence her life and vice versa.

When we did our high’s and low’s tonight at debrief, Ms Doris was almost everyone’s “high” for the day.

So now we are all (sans me, of course) tucked away safely in our beds. We don’t have our next assignment until 9am (praise Jesus!), and it’s being delivered to us! We’ve been up and ready by 6:45 everyday so far, so the girls are all very excited for a little extra rest tonight!

On a personal note, God has been teaching me a lot this week about the power of a prayer said in faith. He’s answered a couple very specific prayers of mine instantly this week. He showed me tonight that I talk a good game when I’m leading other people, but when I’m on my own, I have a serious lack of faith. He also showed me that my prayers are effective with others and that he listens to me at those times and that he can (and wants to) listen to me when I’m simply praying for me.

I pray I can learn that lesson and live my life knowing that my God is the one with the power and He is constantly on the lookout for me…just waiting for me to ask. After all, He is a Good Father.

My eyes are starting to shut. Goodnight to you and as always, there will be more tomorrow…

It’s before 11pm on Day 4 and all but 2 of us are in bed already. Welcome to the middle of the trip! I’d say it’s because of all the hard work, but I think it’s because the girls had their first tastes of Nawlins snow balls tonight and they all crashed from the sugar high!

Our day started, once again, with VBS. Our time with the campers has been precious. Even though it’s so hard to keep them interested or even under control at times, we really enjoy spending time with them and are very sad that tomorrow is our last day with them. If you are a guy and are reading this, I want to encourage you to find a way to come work with these kids. The director of the camp has expressed to us the kids’ need for good male role models. The majority of the campers are boys, the majority of which are from single family homes where all they have are their moms. It’s really hard for all these boys growing up without fathers and they need men to look up to…if only for a week.

In the afternoon, Karina and Heather stayed back at the office. Karina was with the kids and Heather did some work for Angela and used the opportunity to pick her brain about Kenya (Angela’s the one I’m going on the trip with in September), her non-profit and life in general. Jessie, Jeny and I headed out to the house with Kyle (BBC) to do some more work. We cleaned out a couple rooms and worked on tearing down the last bit of dry wall and insulation. We posed for a few pictures hanging from the rafters; and then the day wouldn’t have been complete without the garage door almost falling on us and a group of construction workers coming to help the 3 damsels in distress. Luckily, there were no more tetanus shots.

Tonight, we led worship for the Bible Study BBC leads on Wednesday nights. There were a lot of blips (forgotten words…technical issues, etc.), but I think it was a cool realization for all of us that none of that time was about how “good” it was. Every person who had a song or word of encouragement tonight was speaking through the Spirit (people besides us). And everyone in the room was looking for God. Not mistakes.

Just as an update, Karina is mostly back to 100%. Her throat was still hurting today (which is why she still hasn’t gutted the house). Jessie slept last night and woke up feeling more like herself than she has in a long time (definitely since before this trip). Praise Jesus! Scripture says that the prayer prayed in faith can heal the sick and I think it’s true. :o) Even though she wasn’t “sick”, any of you who have gone through sleepless nights knows it can be worse than sickness!

I’m about to head off to bed and get some much needed sleep. I’m exhausted! Tomorrow’s our last day of VBS and I can already feel the relief. I know that sounds bad, but I struggle to not feel anxious when I’m in charge of something that takes a lot of planning and is not a set-in-stone type of thing. But I really have enjoyed the challenge…and redeeming myself from the first time I directed this particular VBS program. I think I’ve proved to myself that I CAN handle it. Go me. :o)

More tomorrow.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have a responsibility…one that is not put on anyone but myself. The responsibility is to bring people’s attention to the realities that still exist in New Orleans as the entire area continues to try and rebuild.

Already, I know that some will have stopped reading this post…which makes me sad and angry…because I have to ask the question why? Why have so many moved on? I think its because people do not understand the realities. Right now we have a team gutting a house, feeding homeless people, and doing a VBS…all in an effort to not only help people rebuild…but to help them overcome and give hope when so many have been so deeply scarred by the experience…especially the children.

I want you to take a look at this trailer for a documentary called Katrina’s Children. I want you to understand the realities that exists because that is the responsibility I have. The need is overwhelming and it has been almost three years. We have moved on, but so many have been unable to…which is why I ask you to continue to pray and help in whatever ways that you can.

Thanks to Kim Bechtel for bringing this documentary to my attention so that I can share it with all of you.

Revolution will be leading another trip the week after Christmas. If you are interested it’s never too early to sign up.

Until next time…