10 things I have learned – part 1

This week marks my fifth year in full time ministry.  I have been involved in ministry for close to 11 years but I didn’t dive in full time until May of 04.  With that being said, I have been a bit reflective on some of the major things I have learned in this time.  After yesterday’s post I realized that was only one of the major things I had learned so I wanted to share the rest.  These things that I am sharing over the next two days are things that I had to learn the hard way and things that most people should learn – especially if you are in leadership at a church.

10. Gossip destroys people and organizations. – See yesterday’s post.

9. Find your voice. – Essentially know who you are.  So many times people will get in ministry and they try and copy the newest fad or the current IT preacher and in the process deny the very uniqueness that God has given them. God gives you dreams and goals.  He gives you a unique perspective.  He gives you a past that only you have.  Why then would you sacrifice your voice and the very things He has so graciously bestowed?  (I know the answer ) Here’s the deal…be who God has created you to be.  Are their people that are not going to like you – I sure hope so!  If you are a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser something is amiss and needs to be rectified.  So find your voice and own it with confidence.

8. Doctrinally pure, culturally relevant. – The doctrine you hold frames everything else you do.  Doctrine is important…period. Not really something I will discuss, mostly because their is nothing to discuss.  However, the piece that so many miss or swing to far towards is the culturally relevant part.  Look, I know all the arguments.  Jesus’ message is culturally relevant for us today…blah blah blah.  I don’t deny his relevancy…I deny ours. If Jesus is the one we are looking at or any of those other great peeps from the New Testament there is one giant thing thety have in common- being doctrinally pure and culturally relevant.  So, yes I will do whaever I can to be both.

7. Details matter. – Yeeeeaaaahhhhhhh.  I’m a dreamer, visionary, big picture guy…details are not my strong suit and it is those details falling to the way side that have been the cause of many a peoples and my own chagrin. Details matter, plain and simple.  If you know your going to forget those things bring someone along side of you that can help you…otherwise its ministry suicide.

6. Christians are a giant pain in the butt. – I love the church!  I am passionate about the church!  My heart beats for bringing more people into a relationship with Christ – but Christians are a pain in the butt.  Let’s just be honest here.  It isn’t unbelievers who question every little thing you do, or want to argue about Rob Bell, Mark Driscoll, or John McCarthur or feel the need to proclaim “the right way” because they happened to be a youth sponsor 12 years ago. It’s not those that are far from God that split churches, argue about the color of carpet, or make it a point to ignore you for 11 months because you said the word sex in church.  All that to say…they are still my brothers and sisters and I love them and would do anything for them…it just that sometimes I would rather tie them to a chair and leave them in a closet for a few days.

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. – Specifically for the leaders and authority over you.  This has been one of the most difficult lessons for me to learn.  Here is the reality I have found in myself and I continue to see in people throughout churches.  If you don’t trust most of the leaders above or around you.  If you think they are never doing anything right.  If you feel slighted because you’re not informed of every aspect of church happenings.  If you think the majority of the leaders are the issue in your organization.  Let me clue you in.  Odds are the issue is with you not them. If you are in leadership and yet show no support, submission, respect, or trust in the leaders that God has put all around you – understand that says more about your own character and insecurities then it does about the character and ability of those leaders. Believe me, I get it – of course I have always had authority issues – but the lack of respect for leadership undermines and destroys church unity to far greater extents than most other things.

So ther you have 10-6.  Tomorrow I will flush out 5-1.

Sanctioned Incompetence

Sanctioned Incompetence – Meaning leaders who turn a blind eye to ineffectiveness, bad attitudes, and all around poor performance from those they have entrusted to lead/work.

Dave Ramsey first brought this issue to the forefront of my mind after hearing him speak. Since then I see it everywhere. Kind of like when you buy a car because you think no one else has it only to realize that the very car you thought was special is in fact quite ordinary. No organization is without its sanctioned incompetence and the reason it exists might vary. For instance some leaders just don’t have the stomach to be straightforward and call people on necessary issues. Other reason might include the primary leader/manager being oblivious to those outside of their immediate circle or it could simply be because the employee is such a “nice guy” (or booty kisser) that the leader intentionally ignores it.

Whatever the reason, I am convinced that leaders end up causing great harm to the effectiveness and morale of their organization but also to the one they are not developing.

The question is, Is the sanctioned incompetence their fault or is it the primary leaders? I say unequivocally that it’s the primary leader. You may have the right person for your organization but maybe you have put them in the wrong spot, or you have the right person but over time they became the wrong person because no one ever developed them. Either way it’s the primary leader’s responsibility.

Of course there are those times when you just have someone who can give a rip and no matter what you try they just don’t fit – but more times than not if an organization is hiring or utilizing the right people then trust that those people can handle some constructive criticism, honest feedback, and the occasional reprimand.

For the church it goes into a completely different realm. Do the realities of business exist? Yes. Does that mean you run your staff or volunteers through the business mindset? I don’t think so…at least not entirely. One of the most important jobs of a leader is the multiplication of themselves. If we’re honest, we want the easiest route (who doesn’t). But many of us out there in Churchland have individuals who want to learn, who want to be challenged, who want to be developed and it seems that more times than not we choose the easy route – namely – finding a new volunteer or employee so you don’t have to deal with the one who might need to be developed.

A guy I know, Rick Mysse, I think said it best – “Any moron can take a B+ or A student and turn them into an A+ student. But how many are willing to take the F or D- Student and take them there?” I think that is the question that those in a leadership position should wrestle through and in the process – I beg – for the sake of your business, customers, organization, guests, and the Kingdom of God – put an end to sanctioned incompetence.

Question of the day 11/7

Thoughts on taking responsibility

For as long as I can remember I have had several hot buttons.  You know, those things that cause you to go from calm to incredibly ticked or disappointed in no time flat.  These include; when someone betrays my trust, when people act like their God’s gift to the earth, and when leaders don’t take responsibility for their actions or attitudes.  The last one really is a struggle for me, one that – if truth be told – is a huge foothold for the devil.

Why am I sharing this, you might ask?  One, because it’s therapeutic – two, because it’s a form of accountability – three, to make sure I’m not crazy.

Throughout my life I can pinpoint the times when I have been so enraged over the lack of ownership of a leaders decision.  I am sure it is a part of the human condition – I mean, who really wants to take ownership and responsibility for mistakes, bad judgement, and character flaws?  We are all quick to take credit when things go right and just as quick to blame someone else when things go wrong – I think this is especially true in leadership – and let me say upfront I am no different.

Just recently I had someone unload on me, quite unexpectedly, a whole bunch of issues they had with me.  My first instinct was to fight…I’m a fighter and I have no issue with taking someone on regardless of who they are.  However, I have learned that fighting in those situations isn’t always beneficial…so I listened.  Although confused by the basis of some of the accusations, there were some things that have been told to me before by others.  Even though I wrestle with how much of it is someonelse’s lack of communication and expectations, ultimately I have to take ownership if this is what is being perceived of me and I need to take the nuggets of truth amidst the large garbage heap that came with it.

Let me be very clear in saying that I am not talking about living your life by what others think of you – I’m more worried about what God thinks of me then a bunch of people that have unsubstantiated opinions based out of there own insecurities (Although truth can still come from them). What I am saying is that if you have made a mistake, if you are habitually doing something that causes detriment to the people around you and your overall effectiveness as a leader – than by golly, you need to be able to take a good hard look at yourself and the situations around you.

It kills me when someone who has done something painful blames other people for it. “It’s their fault, not mine.”  “If people didn’t expect so much of me, it wouldn’t have happened.” “My parents put to much pressure on me.” “I’m a product of the daily grind.” “If you would have put the accountability there, it never would have happened.”  Seriously?!

Instead of taking ownership and responsibility it becomes a blame game, or a fight, or even a game of hide and seek. I have older people tell me, “well your just young and idealistic, that’s just the way it is.” Well, first off, why is being idealistic a bad thing?  And secondly, why is it OK for it to be that way? Look, I will never be OK with someone not taking responsibility for their own actions regardless of how long they have been doing it..and I’m including myself in that.  As a pastor and a leader why wouldn’t I want to be the best pastor and leader that I could be…and yeah sometimes that means conflict and facing ugly truths but isn’t the kingdom of God worth it?  Aren’t the dreams and visions that God has placed in my heart, that he has been affirming for the past 7 years, worth it?  I say yes!

I know this guy who did some pretty awful stuff.  Recently he has begun the difficult and arduous task of talking responsibility…is it easy…HECK NO!  Does it erase everything that was done, absolutely not – but it does say something about humility.

Which is where I end today.  Humility, in my opinion, the single greatest thing lacking in leaders today.  Just because you clean a toilet doesn’t mean your humble, especially if you feel the need to tell people about it.  Just because you say your humble…certainly does not mean that you are humble.  We lead with pride instead of humble confidence and yet wonder why people lose trust and faith in us or worse in God.  And none of us are immune – which brings in the idea of grace.

Going back to the beginning of this post – in truth, for me, it is a foothold for the devil – because I don’t want to show grace – so instead of humble confidence, grace, and speaking truth in love, I find it easier to act out and place myself above them – as if I myself have never done such a thing.  Which makes me stuck, because I don’t know that kind of balance – and although I have older people tell me you learn it with age – I have yet to see someone demonstrate that balance.  It’s either passive, aggressive, or even worse passive aggressive – but not balance.

So, where does that leave me?  I have no idea.  What I do know, is that leaders need to take responsibility for their actions. However, that does not mean that they are responsible for they way in which I respond…that’s my responsibility.

What do you think?