Below you will find my journal entry from October 9th
Today was the first day of Catalyst and quite honestly I don’t know where to begin. It makes me sad when I hear people say that didn’t gain anything because they have heard it all before. That’s like saying why read scripture, I’ve read it all before…but I digress. I had some expectations in coming here. Expectations of challenge, clarity, and impact, now at the end of day one I can say all of the expectations are being met.
Andy Stanley began the morning and focused on the moral authority that we must keep. It was reminiscent to when Ken Idlemen spoke to me several years ago. He focused on Family, Forgiveness, and Finances. Shortly after that I ran into Vince and caught up with his plans for the Vegas plant. Then I finally got a chance to meet up with Hank from Reunion in Boston. it was great to hear the stories of what God is doing across the country.
Steven Furtick spoke next and he had two great lines…a crack smoking lesbian…and his point…In the middle of the promise and the payoff is the hard reality of the process and it is in that process that you need to believe in the vision God has given you even when there is nothing to see. His point really struck a chord with me as up until 3 months ago I have pushed the vision God has given Leanne and I to the wayside. I honestly felt ashamed because I ignored it and then got consumed with all of the challenges that the past 7 months have carried.
As Craig Grochel talked about “It” I was overcome with the realities that I may have never had it or am in the process of losing it. Break me, ruin me, heal me, and stretch me. As I prayed at the end of his message I noticed that God was ding something inside of me and that His vision for Leanne and I is still alive. I don’t want it for me I want it for the kingdom. Holy boldness and humble confidence with wisdom and the eyes and heart of God in all aspects of life. As I began to cry God began to come over me and He stretch the vision He had impressed upon me so many years ago. I have no doubt He will use us in ways that will leave a lasting legacy, not for us but for the kingdom of God.
When they began to play God of this City, I was done. I couldn’t do anything but cry and rest in who God is and His greatness and the plans he has prepared for us. The future is clear and it is beginning now.
God – Break me, ruin me, heal me, stretch me, unite us, help us, holy boldness, humble confidence, big dreams, impossible vision, and use us to ignite and fan. You are God and I am not worthy…I am only clay in the masters hand…. use me to lead, unleash your spirit through me, let me influence influencers and care for all. May glory be given to you in the highest, creator of the universe, Abba, forever and ever, you are I am and I thank you. Amen.