Yeah, so I have seen many of my friends like Richie, Joe, and Charlie guzzle the energy drink Monster like it’s water. Today, my energy has been down. Like a normal person I went on a Starbucks run. Two hours after my coffee I felt no difference. So I went to Charlie’s mini fridge and he encouraged me to try a Monster. So I did. It didn’t taste nearly as bad as I thought it would.
I didn’t seem like it worked. I thought it might be because I am a big guy. So after Charlie left (sorry dude, I owe you) I grabbed another…half way through I realized something. I was awake and aware.
Of course my hands are trembling uncontrollably and for some reason I can’t speak in complete sentences…but whatever…at least I’m awake. That is until my heart bursts from beating too fast because of the narcotic that I just put in my body. Seriously, how the heck do you people do this? How in the world is this thing approved by the FDA?! My body feels all fuzzy and my eyes keep darting around…is that bad? And did you know you can think of 269 different things at once? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH — Monster is the devil!
I’m sticking with Starbucks…it’s safer.