Faithless

It hit me as I was staring out the window at the falling rain.  This question…Am I faithless?

Now, do I have faith?  Yes.  Do I live my life as if I had faith?  Well…Kind of. I rest in my skill set, I develop relationships, I do the things expected of me, I trust that God is using me and will continue to use me, and I am certain of those things unseen – and yet today, just an ordinary day, that question hit me.  Am I faithless?

You see I play it safe now.  Life has become safe.  Not necessarily easy, but safe.  There is no risk, no trust required – just routine.

It wasn’t always this way.  I wanted to risk big, dream big, do the impossible, jump off the cliff into the raging river below and trust that God was going to do something significant through my audacious faith. And you know, I’ll still want those things – but slowly over the past year and half I have fallen into the chasm of routine…and I didn’t even realize it.

What good is faith if we merely speak of it but don’t live it? Why should God bless our churches if we are unwilling to leap?  Why should we expect to become better teachers, leaders, or  planters, if we just play it safe? How can we live the adventure if we are unwilling to take the necessary risks? Looking at scripture the stories we see are filled with risks.  Situations or callings that are so audacious they could only come from God.

What happened?

To me?

To us?

To the church?

Can you honestly say that you are stepping out in faith, that you are living the adventure, that you are jumping off the high dive and taking risks that you know can only come from God? I can’t and it’s my own fault. So today I write this to confess that I, Christopher Lytle, am faithless.  I am a restless wanderer who has settled into the things known instead of chasing the unknown, but no longer…

God, let it begin.

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5 thoughts on “Faithless

  1. I am reading Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard, if you haven’t read it yet, you should. I was just reading today how passivity is for us one of the greatest dangers of our spiritual existence. It’s some really good stuff!

  2. Oh my gosh, now what? Do I need to start worrying again? Kid, you mix me up. Every time I think things are going smoothly you write something that makes me start wondering, “NOW WHAT”

  3. I guess this is the Dallas Willard theme post. I was just reading this in “Hearing God” this morning. “Most of what we think we see as the struggle of faith is really the struggle to act as if we had faith when in fact we do not.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. At least for us “stepping out in faith” has not made having genuine faith any easier…just more necessary. I wish I would have worked at faith more when we “had everything we needed”.

  4. For pondering purposes…is it a lack of faith? Or is it a lack of trust? Are those the same things? Are they not? Do you really hold on to you “head faith” while not truly trusting with your heart in the things that are wild and crazy and only possible by trusting that God is really who He is?

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