For many people change is a curse word.
The fear it.
Run from it.
Hide from it.
I embrace it. It is a reality and inevitability of life as well as growth. However, just because I like change does not mean its always easy. Specifically those large transitions in your life that change everything.
Today is a rough day because the realities of the current transition and coming change have befallen me. Where as my wife will struggle and mourn the changes once they have happened I struggle and mourn long before the changes actually occur.
I love the church we are leaving. I love the people, the leadership, and the vision. Over the past three years (specifically the last year and a half) we have shared intense brokenness and healing together. We have shared frustrations, joys, heartache, and much ridiculousness. It’s hard to just walk away from that, even if it is following the call of God on your life.
As I finish up at Revolution, doing my best with the ministries I am involved with and helping in the transition of new people, I also am looking ahead to New Orleans. I never knew how overwhelming it could be to be in the middle of the two worlds. On the one hand you have the realities of New Orleans. Obvious facts like, the city is different since we left, most of our friends are gone, we have no place to live or jobs to make money, and then we have the exciting but complicated and time consuming process of beginning a community center and possibly a church launching out of that community center.
Couple that with the realities here in Southern California, namely, not being around family and friends as often, walking away from a ministry that you know God has used you in ways you didn’t even think possible, finishing strong, and the odd sensation of helping plan for a future that you will not be apart of.
It is all of these things that for some reason have all come crashing down on me today. It will all be fine, I know that in my head and heart, but today I mourn the transition because I need to. I need to wrestle with the pain, fear, doubt, and loss that accompanies change. If I don’t how can I move forward with the excitement and passion that is lurking deep within?
So I guess I leave you with this, transitions and change are not the end of the world…
but today, for me, it kind of feels that way.
Until next time…