25 People/Things That Bug Me – including but not limited to Ryan Seacrest, Glenn Beck, Lady Ga Ga, damp towels, and more

Every now and again I post a list of people/things that bug me.  Let me be clear that although these things do in fact bug me, my list is all in good fun…mostly.

So here it is 2011′s 25 people/things that bug me.

25. Glenn Beck – Although I find his paranoia quite entertaining hearing his voice longer than 1 minute makes me want to run head long into a telephone pole.

24. People who don’t take ownership of their mistakes – One word…cowards.

23. The Falcons/Cowboys/Broncos – It’s the principle of the matter.

22. The Kardashians – Its not a personal thing I just don’t get it…I really REALLY don’t get it.

21. Russell Brand – You should not have to try that hard to be funny.  Looking like a strange drag queen version of Keith Richards and acting like an idiot just doesn’t do it for me.

20. Michael Moore/Rush Limbaugh – These two are perennial favorites of mine.  And by favorites I mean two different sides of the same arrogant extremist coin that make my eyes bleed.

19. Spider-Man Turn off the Dark – In fairness I have not seen it. That being said…thanks for ruining my childhood superhero.

18. Sean Penn – I’m actor on a soap box everyone sucks but me. Less yappin more actin.

17. Dora the Explorer – I don’t really know why. She just bugs me. Maybe it’s because Go Diego Go is a far superior show.

16. People who act like they can drop it like it’s hot…yet can’t seem to pick it back up – Only a few of you will understand this.

15. Auto-tune – an entire generation of music listeners who think singing is what the Black Eyed Peas and Lil Wayne do.

14. The CW – Anyone over the age of 15 understands what I am talking about.

13. President Obama’s Speaking Cadence – No disrespect intended. Lord knows I have my own speech cadence that bugs many, but I can’t listen to him give speeches without bobbing my head.

12. Ke$ha – The way she spells her name is reason enough. Add on top of that girls telling me she is their role model and I can’t help but fear for our future.  I mean what are we, French Canadians?  Sorry, that was a cheap shot…speaking of…

11. French Canadians – Because, they made Caillou a perpetually bald headed four year old.

10. MTV – I keep hoping that one day they will play music again but instead they just keep showing…

9. The Jersey Shore – Seriously, our national collective IQ has plummeted because of this show.  People blame the president, the stubbornness of our elected officials, conservatives, liberals, and everything in between for the current state of our country.  Me, I blame The Jersey Shore.

8. Ndamukong Suh – Dirty football players who are delusional ruin football.

7. Damp Towels – They just feel yucky.

6. Lady Ga Ga – Remember that one time this new artist came out with some catchy pop tunes and then become the most overexposed entity this side of an intro to Photography class? Let’s see…make a 70′s gay disco album and call it the best album of the decade. Check. Be birthed out of an egg. Check. Seek attention in whatever means possible. Check. Try and be Madonna. Check. Scar the collective conscience of millions of people. working on it. Seriously in need of therapy. Obviously.

5. Gordon Ramsey – Never in my life have I wanted to see someone get punch in the face as much as I do with Gordon Ramsey.  I know, it’s not a very Christian thing to say but seriously…how awesome would it be if Jesus punched him in the face and then told him to turn the other cheek?

4. The Twilight Saga – Seriously. It’s like reading/watching a 13 year old girls diary. Boring, lame, overly emotional, and poorly written.

3. People who think New Orleans is the den of Iniquity – Ignorant. Don’t blame us for the drunk tourists. They’re your neighbors, not ours.

2. Ryan Seacrest – It’s his fault Rick Dees got the boot in LA. It’s his fault the Kardashains are everywhere. It’s his fault that metrosexual is still a word used in the american vernacular. It’s his fault Kidd Kraddick hasn’t been given his due. I mean I don’t want to blame him for all of the social ills in our world but I am pretty sure he is to blame for all of those things…and bird flu.

1. Myself – As always, I am my own worst enemy.

As always, feel free to add your own to the list.

Jersey Shore, The Goonies, Rapper’s Delight, and other things I am proud of.

It might seem that having a post on things I am proud of, in the midst of a soul changing examination of my own arrogance, might seem counter intutitve. However, I think with some things it might be ok to boast…just a little bit.

Having said that…here are then things I am proud of.

I am proud of the fact that…

10. I have never had to travel to or through Nebraska. - I don’t think this needs any further exposition.

9. I don’t like coffee. – If I am going to be addict to a legally addictive stimulant it’s going to be Diet Coke and althoughI love me some caramel            frappuccinos, we all know that those things are mostly sugar…so it doesn’t really count as coffee.

8. I can dine by myself without feeling awkward. – Granted this could be because I usually create the awkwardness for others as opposed to experiencing it myself.

7. I let a tarantula crawl up my arm. – Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually scaring? Absolutely! But I did it!

6. I know the secret menus at In & Out, Starbucks, and Jamba Juice. Yes its true, for my last meal I would like a 4×4 with fries animal style, a Captain Crunch Frappuccino, and a Gummy Bear Smoothie. Don’t judge. You know it sounds awesome.

5. I have never shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch. – Granted, it is in part because their largest pair of pants would not fit around my left calf but it also because the noxious amounts of 13 year old pre pubescent boy cologne the shoot out into the mall warns me of the idiocy of shopping at said establishment.

4. Weight Watchers. – 85 pounds and counting can not be argued with.

3. I know all of the word’s to Rapper’s Delight. – All the cool kids do.

2. I have seen The Goonies well over 100 times. – Sad? I think not. Awesome? You’re freaking right! Goonies never say Die!

1. I have never seen one episode of The Real Housewives of Keeping up with the Kardshians in the Jersey Shore. – Although I’m sure that when I’m down I would feel better about my own life after I watch these televised train wrecks, I’m all but certain I would regret the loss of my intelligence and time.

Are you freaking kidding me? You?! Seriously?!

About a month ago I started to prepare for something I never thought I would do.

I’m going to run a half marathon. I know right! Who would have ever thought that I, Christopher Lytle, would run 13.1 miles?

As I continue on my weight loss journey (82 pounds down) I realized I need to set a new goal. It’s easy to say, “I want to lose more weight by October 2012″ – It’s a whole other animal to say, “oh yeah and I am going to start jogging for the first time in my life”.

After a lot of discussion with God and my wife I asked myself the question…”what’s stopping me?”

The Answer: Myself. Which, if you ask me, is a crappy answer.

I have already started my year long training program and come September 29, 2012, at approximately 10:30 pm, Leanne and I will run our first half marathon at this place.

Yeah, like I would do it anywhere else.

Until next time…

I need your blog.

So I lost all the info in my blog reader. If you are a friend of mine with a blog or if you know a blog I should be following, pass it along.

The Humility Remix – My new reading list

In lieu of my current revelation about the internal workings of my soul, I soon realized I needed a new reading list.

Here it be…my ghetto fabulous humility remix reading list.

Feel free to add to it.

1. Practicing the Presence of God – Brother Lawerence

2. Enemies of the Heart – Andy Stanley

3. Here I Stand – Roland Bainton

4. Just Like Jesus – Max Lucado

5. Absolute Surrender – Andrew Murray

6. The Interior Castle – Teresa of Avila

7. The Runner’s Guide to the Meaning of Life – Amby Burfoot

8. 365 Thank Yous – John Kralik

9. An Unquenchable Thirst – Mary Johnson

10. Nearing Home – Billy Graham 

 

 

An Important Letter from Topher

Dear friends, family, and supporters;

Over the past 2 1/2 months I have intentionally unplugged from various forms of media (i.e. facebook, twitter, blogging) so that I could take stock of a few things in my life. This ended up being an unexpected extension of my fast from television during Lent. The reason I did this was not that I felt hooked to any form of media, but more to get rid of some of the external noise in my life in order to more effectively have a season of introspection and discovery.

What I found was not pretty.  Let me say up front that this is not a letter to say that I have “fallen” because of some specific sin. It is, however, a letter to communicate that, for a season, I will be taking a step down from leadership in ministry. This does not mean I am abandoning the call on my life. Quite the opposite. I will continue to serve in the local church body and continue to minister to my coworkers, my neighbors, and my family.  This is a season of intense surrender that is necessary for me to go through so I can continue to embrace the roles God has blessed, and will bless me with.

So what’s the issue?

The thing that I realized over the past few months is how truly arrogant I am. Having seen the effects of arrogance among other pastors, I realize how important it is to deal with this issue before it gets to that point of no return.

I want my life, more than anything, to be defined by the obedience, passion, and love I have for Christ, His Church, and the Kingdom of God. The role of a pastor, leader, elder, deacon, etc is first and foremost to be a surrendered servant of Christ, I believe I have lost sight of that fact. I have lost sight of that audience of One, of the reason I surrendered to the call on my life in the first place…which was to serve and love the lost.

This has not been an easy decision to make, but Leanne and I know this to be the right decision. Rarely is the right decision the easy one to make. Ironically, the reason it is most difficult is because of my own pride; I don’t want people to see me as a failure. I have had to come to grips with the fact that people will talk and make assumptions and some will see me as a failure. As much as that pains me and I want to fight against it, I know that ultimately it does not matter. What matters is being the man God wants me to be and following His good and perfect will.

So what’s next?

Currently I am searching for a new executive director for the CENTER. I ask that if you are a prayer partner and/or financial partner in the CENTER that you would continue your support. Although, growth is paused, ministry is still happening. I am available to answer any questions you have in regards to the CENTER. From the beginning, we made a pledge of complete transparency and that has not changed.

I will no longer be leading any small groups or specific ministries at local churches. I will however be serving in children’s ministry every third week, and begin being a greeter as well. We are also looking to join a small group. I will still preach every now and again as opportunities arise. Lastly, we will still help host and organize trips for visiting work groups to New Orleans.

So what now?

Leanne, Bella, and I will continue to strengthen our lives and family on the bedrock of Christ. Now, I begin a season that is wholly unknown to me and one that kind of freaks me out seeing as I am a control freak. Now, I believe, I am exactly where God wants me.  Now, I ask you to continue to pray for me, my family, and the influence we have on those around us. Now, we continue to follow God’s path and we hope you continue to do the same.

A dear friend, LaTanya, would pray for me every Sunday for humility. She said every time she prayed for me it was the word she saw. I want to thank her specifically for never wavering about putting that word in my face. I also want to thank all of you.  Each of you have made your mark on my life. You have loved, encouraged, and challenged me. You have put up with my faults, failures, and insecurities. You have forgiven me when I have wronged you. You have looked past how horrible I am at staying in contact with those I do not see on a daily basis. You have been true friends and supporters, and I am grateful for that.

I write this to you in the name of Christ who is good and holy and who loves you. May we continue to pursue Him as we act as His hands and feet to the world around us.

In Awe of His Grace

Christopher Lytle

P.S. I will no longer be MIA. I have lots more to share so you will see me once again on facebook and on the blogosphere. See you soon.

Read Me

We continue need all the prayer and support we can get for our efforts here in New Orleans. If you get a chance visit our website and check out all the exciting things we are working towards.

www.enterthecenter.org

Ignorant people

Every day I am bombarded with ignorance regarding NOLA and Katrina.  People speaking to things they know nothing about…Take Craig from California. On the topic of New Orleans being back he says,  ”A whole bunch of lazy, uneducated, violent, criminal black people sitting around cashing tax-payer welfare checks, smoking crack, pimpin women, stealing, assaulting, killing, etc.Welcome back New Orleans!”

SERIOUSLY!? And that’s not even the worst that comes across my screen.  The core issues, that lovely individuals like Craig continue to site, are things such as – blaming the Corps of Army Engineers – expecting everyone else to do the work for us – and it’s been five years get over it.

First off – If it were not for the failure of the army corps of engineers the levees would not have failed in the first place.  Add on top of that the fact that they did not take responsibility for it until like 2 years ago…and yes there is a lot of anger.  That anger stems form the breakdown of government on all levels in regards to the evacuation process, the levees, FEMA, and a myriad of other things.

Secondly, No one here expects the govt to do anything for them.  Every person I know in this city is so eternally grateful for all of the help and love and grace that people throughout this country showed and continues to show.  I know 10 people off the top of my head, all encompassing different races and economic levels, who got screwed by insurance companies.  So they went to the govt who was offering help.  These ten individuals barely got help.  They were told help is on the way..it wasn’t.  So they rebuilt themselves and in 4 of their cases are still rebuilding and still living in trailers.  No one is expecting a handout…what was expected was that just as in any disaster that the govt. on all levels would follow through with the assistance that was needed.  If it weren’t for the gumption of the people here and the extreme generosity of others, very little would be done. So we trust people just not the govt.

Lastly, it’s been five years, get over it. – I honestly don’t know how to respond to this because I think my anger would get the best of me,  Let’s just leave it at this…when your life, your families life, and your friends lives are all destroyed – then tell me to get over it.

I am biased, true.  I lived here before and through Katrina.  There are still people that I have no idea where they ended up.  I still have scars, and above all else I love this place.  I don’t expect people to “get it”.  I don’t expect people to care as much as we do down here for our community and our lives.  What I expect is that people would conduct themselves with common decency.  That people outside of this city and entire gulf region would put an end to the ignorant ramblings.  And that if people really want to know…then do the research, come down here and I will introduce you to a whole lot of people that can give you the reality of Katrina.

I’m gonna go pray now so as not to be consumed with anger.